Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Living The Cowardly Life: All Over The Place

“Falling in love you remain a child; rising in love you mature. By and by love becomes not a relationship, it becomes a state of your being. Not that you are in love - now you are love.” 
― Osho

Access to information. Everything at our fingertips. Connectivity with anyone, anywhere.  But where am I?

Osho talks about peace of mind. He says no, it's peace of no-mind.  Having no-mind is what we need. And for me especially. Most everything in my life is a result of being in one of these states: mind or no-mind.

It's a world full of opportunity out there, full of possibilities. My little niece runs around with her no-mind attitude and simply is. She is loving. She is caring. She is joyful. She gets upset. But she lives. She goes in the direction of her heart, like all kids do before being conditioned otherwise. The Hero's Journey for me is going back to the no-mind attitude of a child.

To the close-minded, Forrest Gump was unintelligent. He stuttered, his social skills were awkward, and seemed like he was "dumb". Look closer. He went after what his heart led him to. Sure, he took orders. But he did them to the best of his ability without "thinking" about the consequences, good or bad. This mentality is something to get back to. Forrest Gump had superb intelligence, if you measure it in the proper way.

I aim to be as transparent as possible on here because maybe someone can learn from my mistakes.

For most of my life I have been inside my mind instead of living. It takes a lot of, if not all of my energy to be in this place. Maybe it's chemical, maybe it's habit, who knows.  What I am beginning to understand, at least to a small degree, is what brings me to the this state of mind.

Broadly, it is simply fully loving and accepting myself. This is the supreme problem most of us have, the problems we encounter stem from not loving and accepting ourselves. For me, changing my body certainly has not been the "answer" to loving and accepting myself. As a kid, I was chubby and would often look into the mirror wondering, "Will I be like this forever." And working hard to change that was difficult and a process which has led me to where I am currently a strength and conditioning coach. There are no "answers" though. Making it a habit to learn to love and accept ourselves is one of the greatest habits to learn.

If you have trouble loving and accepting yourself, ask why? Honestly ask why, and practice some things below to help you on your journey.

1. Meditate. Do nothing. 

Something of this nature where we simply sit and do nothing. Be present. Whatever you choose, make it a habit. It's too easy to be busy all day and not take time to be kind to ourselves.

2. Call loved ones.

When things get crazy in your head and in the world around you, do you keep it inside or do you call someone and talk? Too often I keep it inside only for it to bubble up some place else, eventually. And it's not fun dealing with it later. Like a dirty sink that keeps piling up and piling up, eventually it needs to be cleaned. And it doesn't get any easier by putting it off.

Yes, people have their own problems to deal with. But people are also loving and caring. They will lend an ear to you if you are going through a tough time. Relationships grow as a result.

3. Journal

Sometimes just writing things down can make us feel better. I know it helps me. The combination of journaling and calling loved ones are two small steps to getting things out.

4. Movement. Exercise. Screaming. Bioenergetics.

Getting the body moving is important. We have monkey DNA and need ot express ourselves. You don't have to be an Olympian to participate either. Doing something physically challenging makes life a little bit easier. And sometimes, we need to scream like children do. Let it all out. You might surprise yourself at how much better you feel.

Using this list is not the be all end all. There are many more things you could add.

Bottom line.

The mind is a tool. Follow your heart and lead with courage.

It's time for me to finally digest the words I've written.

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