Thursday, October 17, 2013

Remember when?

Remember, your thoughts the goings on around you, your situation, and your life are impermanent.

Remember the impermanence of things.

Remember growing up? Remember thinking you would be "fat" your whole life as you looked into the mirror? Remember when you were scared to take your shirt off? Remember being unable to pull the trigger with asking girls out? Remember when your thoughts consisted mainly of doubt, worry and fear?

Remember when you did things like lift, train and play sports simply for the enjoyment of getting better?

Remember not being able to ride a bike until you were 6? Remember when swimming lessons were scary? Remember almost drowning a couple years ago? Remember losing all the time in Basketball growing up? Remember crying, frustrated beyond explanation? Remember Mom praising you for your effort? Remember telling her it wasn't ever good enough? Remember creating a rocky relationship with Mom? Remember being scared of Dad?

Remember Nick? Remember when he was your best friend as a little boy? Remember looking up to him? Remember imitating him in most things he did? Remember when he got older and thinking he forgot about you?

Remember Abbie? Remember when she and Phil aggravated you by quitting games when you were winning? Remember Phil? Remember how he treated you like a the little brother you were? Remember wanting to be apart of his friend group because they seemed to have it all?

Remember winning nearly every soccer game growing up? Remember dominating baseball as a youngster with your teammates? Remember when you secretly hoped one of the Basketball State Champs in 1997 would teach you and mentor you? Remember recalling how you felt and the perspective you had when you began mentoring kids?

Remember when you made mistakes? Remember when you were depressed? Remember the depths of hell you were in? Remember making a pact to make a change? Remember crying in the driveway talking to Mom about being on the wrong path? Remember Mom supporting you as you transferred schools?

Remember losing your passion for basketball and soccer? Remember how it became a chore? Remember how much pressure you put on yourself? Remember the anxiety you caused yourself? Remember how successful you were regardless of your poor mental attitude?

Remember losing her as you moved away, and she didn't return any texts or calls? Remember being in a new place, trying to fit in? Remember feeling rejuvenated? Remember sinking back in the hole? Remember the highs and lows? Remember when the thoughts of "is it always going to be like this" came to the forefront?

Remember experiencing the world in a whole new light? Remember understanding how love really felt? Remember meeting lifelong friends?

Remember your negative mental attitude? Remember the roller coaster ride that was your life? Remember losing Grandpa? Remember having deep conversations regularly? Remember feeling rejuvenated afterwards? Remember your childlike curiosity about the world and people? Remember falling in love getting your heart broken?

Remember getting outside your comfort zone? Remember making that a mission? Remember being a social butterfly on the cruise? Remember being the life of the party?

Remember the beginning of training with the big boys? Remember feeling weak? Remember feeling strong? Remember feeling inadequate? Remember feeling like a beast? Remember the camaraderie? Remember setting the goal of squatting 400lbs? Remember doing it quickly? Remember learning how to weightlift? Remember the daily struggle of mobility and technique? Remember the bloody shins? Remember the ripped calluses? Remember lifting in weightlifting shoes? Remember hitting PR's seemingly daily? Remember being around people who made you better? Remember being thankful for the opportunities? Remember not wanting to leave the gym?

Remember leaving and going off on your own? Remember being scared in an unfamiliar place? Remember making PR's on your Squat and Snatch in the same day? Remember the weeks that followed? Remember frying your nervous system? Remember feeling like you were hit by a train? Remember making the recovery back, learning many lessons along the way? Remember not knowing how to say goodbye and thank you for the opportunity and impact?

Remember crying listening to Yeha Noha? Remember when things couldn't seem to go wrong? Remember when things couldn't seem to go right? Remember being scared? Remember you insecurities?


Do you remember overcoming most of these things?

Perspective is a great tool, yet easily forgotten. Always remember to carve your victories of overcoming obstacles in stone and write your failures in sand.

You aren't your past. The future can cause anxiety. Be here now. It's all you have.

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