Wednesday, October 16, 2013

No Guarantees

September 27th,

My troubles seemed infinite. Stress seemingly stacked against me. I did have hope. I was going to push past this stress. A hurt knee, missing my girlfriend, and feeling generally crappy put stress on my plate. But this wasn't this first time in my life where I would need to overcome stress. Then, tragedy hits.

My brother was in an accident fracturing his skull and causing severe brain damage.

To me, my brother was dead. I was numb, shocked. The emotions would come and go, flowing out of me like a waterfall. The whole thing felt like a dream. My thoughts documented the movie going on around me. It was surreal. Nine days went by as hope came and went for the people praying for a miracle. In my mind, my brother was dead.

Pebbles in the sand

Life's problems are windows to opportunity. They offer us growth in the form of seemingly difficult times. Sometimes, they can crush you if you let it. What do you do? There are no right answers. As the saying goes, time heals all wounds. Maybe it does and maybe it doesn't. My mission is to attack life regardless of these stressors. What else can I do? Wallow in my pain and expect the world to grant me all the time I need to fully recover? Do I feel sorry for myself and expect others to do the same? Or do I use the pain.

Use the pain as motivation.
Use the pain as a break off point to embark on a journey.
Use the pain to be the inspiration for others.
Use the pain and become the hero in my own life.

Our troubles and problems seems to be the worst thing at any given time. Why me? Why does this have to happen to me? We play the victim role for moments, hours, days and if allowed to linger, years.

Re-dedicating myself in honor of my brother

Without challenging myself, without having a goal or something to aim for I am a shell of myself. Dare I say worthless. The challenge I am putting in front of myself is 10,000 Push Ups by October 16th, 2014 in honor of my deceased brother. Only 30 Push Ups a day gets me to 10,000. My other goal is 4,000 Pull Ups by October 16th, 2014 which equates to ~11 pull ups per day.

Today I am still in shock. Probably will be for the foreseeable future. And to me, it doesn't matter. Life will move on. But, I may die tomorrow, who knows? Nothing is guaranteed.

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